I have always viewed myself as a fairly resilient and focused person. I know my husband would disagree. He always thinks I can't handle things. I think he feels that way out of protectiveness. Or at least that is what I tell myself. Anyways, I digress..
So I always thought I could handle whatever. But since Henry was born we have had several scary moments with him. The last one being yesterday we learned that he is "intolerant" of bananas. We learned this because after eating a quarter of a banana, he spent an hour throwing up non stop. Having your 5 month old throw up repeatedly is a scary thing. Especially when you are alone, and with your 2 year old who was having a special behavioral moment of his own. I really was not sure what to do. The thing about being Mom is that you are supposed to have the answers! People look at me like I am supposed to have an opinion or an answer for everything. But yesterday, I didn't! Henry has barely been sleeping so I am back to functioning on like 4 hours of sleep and being the sole parent all day/evening. I just felt like my "tank" was empty and I couldn't process/deal with anymore situations with my baby or one more tantrum.
Ultimately, I think I know what would truly help me to reset. That is a night away. Since Charlie has been born, I have been a on "the job" for 2 years with no break. I joked that my vacation was the night in the hospital after Henry was born. We have talked about going away a few times but it just hasn't worked out and I think my next chance might be our anniversary in September. So since that is 6 months away and not even guaranteed, what are other things that help "fill up my tank" so I don't feel as though I am running on fumes.
1. Quiet time alone. Being alone and able to work or do something in silence is huge for me. I recently changed our routine a little around here and now both boys are taking an afternoon nap at the same time and this week at least I have had at least an hour to relax. I take that time to do whatever I want. This week it has been my blogging/emailing time and party prep time. It also usually involves chocolate and coffee. Sometimes just having 20 minutes to clean by myself is rewarding.
2. Exercise. I try to get 35 minutes or so of exercise 4 times a week. I certainly will not be a fitness blogger anytime soon, but those 35 minutes helps my attitude so much. I also appreciate that it helps my relationship with skinny jeans as well. When I feel physically strong and capable it helps me to feel emotionally strong and capable.
3. Projects. Having something to focus on and work on helps me feel good. Like I stated yesterday, I am trying to work on learning a little more about blogging, working on my sewing skills, and even considering diving into the world of photoshop. My husband and I have gotten involved with a new church and we are trying to be more involved. I am working with the kids, and helping to start a Mom's group.
4. Be Positive! I know we don't always feel positive but sometimes just "Fake it until we make it". That has pretty much been my adult life's motto. Nothing depresses me more than in the morning getting several texts from friends telling me how much they already dislike the day. Believe me, I get it, I do! So I have made a concentrated effort not to be that person anymore. I know that this past year I allowed myself to become negative. I am trying to revive the optimistic and sassy Debbie. So even on days when I do not feel super upbeat, I just fake it and hope it sticks. Haha! I try to text one upbeat positive thing to my friends in the morning. We are all mom's and sometime getting little humans up in the morning is not the most fun.
I am working to find the negative "triggers" for example, facebook. If I consider something or someone negative, I distance myself from it or them. I also am working to see the positive side of all situations. Even yesterday with Henry's intolerance episode. The positives were that he did not need medical attention. My mom had actually planned to come up that afternoon so I had some backup and he bounced back fairly quickly.
5. Talking to someone to "gets" me. This is a big one. When I can actually sit down and have a conversation with someone who "gets" me and lets me talk and doesn't judge. My friend, Meg is definitely one of those people. I can tell her just about anything and she never judges me, and lets me talk.
So those are a few ways that I try to help keep my tank full which in return allows me to be the wife, mom, and friend that I need to be