2018
It is a new year with a so called clean slate. I am the walking cliche for New Years. I get SO excited. Ask my husband.
I love thinking of goals, reflecting on the past year and the fresh start for the year. This year as 2017 ended, I was kind of sad. It seems like this past year we did not move forward in a lot of ways which was disappointing. I honestly barely remember the first 4 or 5 months of 2017 I was in such a Post Partum fog. Then when that finally cleared up, I was trying to regroup and be "me" again but we were busy building a shed/chicken coop, planting a huge garden and just summer in Maine. The church we thought would be our new home, did not work out at all which actually hurt me more than I actually expected. Then again when I was starting to get some mojo going, we lost Baby 3. And that just is not something you bounce back from despite what everyone else seems to think. Seems like all of my relationships weakened this year as well. Add in some other events were expected to have happen this year that did not and it seems like 2017 was a lot of set backs and disappointments .
This is something that I am working on this year. I really can not control any thing my life with the exception of my attitude and outlook. What is going to happen will happen. I do not really enjoy being a roller coaster of emotions.
I do monthly goals rather than yearly goals. It helps me stay focused on things better. They also let me stay focused on current needs. So if I need to work on something in my relationships, household or with my kids, it helps me focus that month on what is important. Usually I pick a word or phrase that kind of describes my motto for the year.
This is my motto/phrase for 2018. I am not making any big plans for myself or expectations of where I would like to see my family. It seems like the harder I work or focus on things the more frustrated I become and less progress I see. I still have things I would like to see happen this year with my boys and personal projects. However, I am not basing my life on these.
A few weeks ago, I read about Hillary Scott from the band Lady Antebellum. I am not really a big fan of the group. However, I was reading how she had experienced a miscarriage awhile back and one way she dealt with the grief was she wrote the song "Thy Will". So naturally I found it on Youtube. The lyrics honestly just described SO much of what I was feeling and thinking.
I love thinking of goals, reflecting on the past year and the fresh start for the year. This year as 2017 ended, I was kind of sad. It seems like this past year we did not move forward in a lot of ways which was disappointing. I honestly barely remember the first 4 or 5 months of 2017 I was in such a Post Partum fog. Then when that finally cleared up, I was trying to regroup and be "me" again but we were busy building a shed/chicken coop, planting a huge garden and just summer in Maine. The church we thought would be our new home, did not work out at all which actually hurt me more than I actually expected. Then again when I was starting to get some mojo going, we lost Baby 3. And that just is not something you bounce back from despite what everyone else seems to think. Seems like all of my relationships weakened this year as well. Add in some other events were expected to have happen this year that did not and it seems like 2017 was a lot of set backs and disappointments .
This is something that I am working on this year. I really can not control any thing my life with the exception of my attitude and outlook. What is going to happen will happen. I do not really enjoy being a roller coaster of emotions.
I do monthly goals rather than yearly goals. It helps me stay focused on things better. They also let me stay focused on current needs. So if I need to work on something in my relationships, household or with my kids, it helps me focus that month on what is important. Usually I pick a word or phrase that kind of describes my motto for the year.
A few weeks ago, I read about Hillary Scott from the band Lady Antebellum. I am not really a big fan of the group. However, I was reading how she had experienced a miscarriage awhile back and one way she dealt with the grief was she wrote the song "Thy Will". So naturally I found it on Youtube. The lyrics honestly just described SO much of what I was feeling and thinking.
Those words are everything. I will probably never understand why God chose to take my baby. People say all the time " He has a plan". Currently, I still do not understand or even particularly like "The Plan". But I am open and trusting to what God may have.
So if I had to describe 2017, it was the year that completely broke me in every way. But it is the year that really showed me the person and mother I am supposed to be. I learned to accept things a little better than I used to and to not always think " I can not handle this". I learned to focus on my boys more, not expect things to be "Pinterest perfect". To always try and go the extra mile for other people. To wake up early just to drink my coffee in silence ( game changer!), to finally put moisturizer on my face, to not expect my husband to look at the world the way I do, and I learned how to care for chickens.
2018 is not a clean slate because I am bringing some scars from 2017 with me, but for the first time I do not feel desperate for this year to be the year everything changes and gets better. I just am curious to see how 2018 will unfold, there are a lot of different things it could bring.
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