Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Tuesday Talk: Pregnancy Hormones

Happy Tuesday Friends!
   I am nearing the halfway mark of this pregnancy which means a couple of things.
 One, holy cow this pregnancy is moving fast. 
Two, we learn the gender of Baby 2.0 soon. 
Three, pregnancy hormones are in full swing.

Generally, non-pregnant Debbie is a very jovial soul. ( When I get my full amount of sleep) I do tend to be a little reactive in life, but I keep it bottled up unless you are on of my "people".  I definitely am not a weepy person, every life event does not make me cry. Nor does every hiccup in life send in me into a deep rage. But then we hit mid pregnancy.... 

With my first pregnancy, I was naive enough to believe that all my emotions were 100% valid. With my first pregnancy my primary emotion was tears. Oh so many tears.... In my defense, I had a horrible pregnancy, my husband spent most of it traveling,  I was alone in an area where I had no friends or support system while trying to move and my dog passed away. Give a girl a break, I think a few tears were in order.  Looking back on it, I just shake my head because there was so many tears. I would cry if my husband did not hug me enough. I would cry if I burnt dinner. I would cry that I had been sick too many times. I would cry that the midwife was not nice. I would cry that an outfit looked weird. When I finally had my baby, the post baby hormones were really nothing compared to the tears of pregnancy.  After I had Little Man and I went 48 hours with no tears, I actually high fived my husband. It was a big deal in my house. 

This time however.... while I do tend to be a little more weepy at times. We are experiencing a new emotion. Rage. So much rage....  I have to limit how often I go on fb because certain people's updates will drive me batty. Like yes please, show me what you look like in the gym mirror. Please post your political opinion about something that no one asked you about or remind me again how much you love your new boyfriend of 2 weeks. 

The good and bad news about this is that I know now that pregnancy emotions are just that. Pregnancy emotions. I know that they are extreme and that how I am feeling is not an accurate description of the current situation.  This self awareness is SO annoying. After a recent "pregnant emotional breakdown" I basically just sent myself to my room for a time out. My amazing husband just let me vent my little pregnant heart out and then gave me space while I regrouped in our room. When I resurfaced, he never said a word about it. Just gave me a hug and a kiss and told me he loved me. 

In my defense nothing about this year is how I was planning so that is not helping my emotional condition. And about 60% of the time I can handle it... but as this baby grows I am noticing my ability to handle is diminishing. 

    It is frustrating because I can see "Pregnant Debbie" and I feel bad for her and the people that suffer her wrath. I know I am being crazy, but I just can't stop it sometimes. Other times I am able to just reason with the crazy hormones. Example, when the church nursery worker learned that my children would be 18 months apart and made a little bit of a snippy comment about it. I was able to refrain and not respond with rage. 

   Things that help with pregnancy rage?  It helps if you have a super laid back, easy going, loving husband. I can go off on the biggest meltdown and he just does not even care. It does not seem to phase him. He lets me vent. He gives me space and occasionally he will suggest I reign myself in. I actually think he handles rageful Debbie better than weepy Debbie. lol!  Understanding friends also help. My friend Emily is a saint about letting me go off on a text and knows that it just needs to get off my chest. She lets me talk and then within seconds the conversation will have switched to something happier or sillier. 
   Things that don't help? Do not tell me that it is just the hormones speaking. At that point, I can't guarantee safety. Do not try to help me look on the bright side. I know there is a bright side and I already feel super guilty for not being able to see it at the moment. 

  What about you, friends? Did you suffer from extreme pregnancy hormones? How did you deal with them? 
Sweet Little Ones - Tuesday Talk Link Up and Party

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