I have not been honest lately

I have a secret I have been keeping the past five weeks.

photos by DNA photography 

Yep, Baby #2 is on his/her way.  Apparently I am the only person who finds this shocking information. Because newsflash, we weren't planning on Baby #2 quite yet. This little one was really ready to make his/her place in this world. So lets back up a little bit....

In January life was all peachy keen. I had signed up to run a half marathon  so I was starting to train for that pretty steady, China Man was looking at potential houses very seriously and we had a plan. Find the house we want, and when we had actual space we would add to the family. ( Hello, logical plan) Then strange things started to happen. First, I could smell the weirdest things and normally I can't smell anything. So China Man joked that I was pregnant and we just laughed it off. Then I noticed that I was feeling really rundown and tired all the time. I assumed it was because I had really stepped up my running and workouts. So I tried to watch my nutrition a little better. The one that really started to make me wonder was when I was brushing my teeth, and I started to gag. However I assumed I was on birth control and nursing, there was physically no flipping way I could be pregnant. A week later I was was sick three mornings in a row. On the third morning, I could not stop being sick. It was just like last time. I was completely freaking out. My friend was convincing me there was no way I could be pregnant. She suggested I just take a test to rule it out and stop worrying. Later that night while China Man was downstairs with the baby, I slipped upstairs and literally got the most shocking results ever. "Pregnant". Many times in my life when I have gotten shocking information, I have just frozen or gone stoic. Not this time. I started bawling my eyes out, shaking like crazy and honestly had serious trouble breathing. I hid in that bathroom for awhile because I thought I could pull myself together. I texted my best friend because she usually can put things into perspective for me.  I now laugh remembering her response "Oh wow..." and "Take another test".   I will always be thankful for China Man's response. I showed him the test all teary eyed and gross faced and he just lit up. He got the biggest smile on his face and just said " No way, this is so cool". I then responded by falling into his arms bawling my eyes out again. That is basically how I spent the remainder of that week, trying to get my head wrapped around it. Pregnancy hormones people.... they are real and I am not afraid to use them. 

 So now let me just take this moment to clarify, I am in no way sad about my second child. I know that once this baby is born I will love and adore him/her just like I adore my Little Man. This new person will also be my whole world just like my Little Man.

 Am I intimidated by the fact I will now be outnumbered during the day time? Um, yes! 

Do I find the idea of two kids under two a little daunting? Yes. 

Will I ever sleep again? Probably not.

 I also know that China Man is the best partner and will be beside me the whole time. I think that perhaps these two siblings close in age will get to grow up a little closer ( that might just be wishful Mom thinking). I love being a Mom and we had always planned on having more kids. I can't believe by the start of fall I will have 2 kids. I officially graduate from "New Mom" status. Thank goodness. Nothing annoys me more than when older woman give me that "look" and call me a "New Mom".  It is just a polite insult basically. 

What I am not excited about and have been very open about my dislike is... being pregnant. For the next 9 months my body suddenly becomes my worst enemy. Fortunately the morning sickness has not been as bad thanks to medicine and experience. When I say it is good, I mean I usually only am sick 1-2 times a day. All day sickness messes with your head after awhile. You are constantly on guard for anything that is going to make you sick, any smell that will trigger it, constantly assessing whether you should eat, worrying if you are too far from a bathroom, trying to find foods that you can stomach, forcing yourself to eat when you really do not want to, and then when you do get sick... you feel bad that your baby isn't getting those nutrients or water. So you have to start all over.  Then factor in an almost 1 year old who doesn't believe in lazy days. There have been days I honestly wake up and just start counting down the hours until evening when I can lay in my bed and not move. First trimester is ugly and when you were in no way ready for it, that just adds another hill. I am praying so much that in a few weeks maybe I will be blessed and the nausea will fade away this time.

   Until then I am starting to look at each week of pregnancy as a mile in a long run. They are not all going to be pretty or your best.However keep focused on the current mile/week and what can you do to make it better. For me this week it included hearing my little babe's heartbeat this week and getting prescribed a better medicine. Both are winning moments